J.K. Simmons playing J. Jonah Jameson in every timeline has to be one of the funniest running gags ive seen in a movie. anyone can be Spiderman but there can only be one J. Jonah Jameson
we’re like 8 years away from the inevitable scenario where some guy is having sex with his AI gf and his roommate turns on the microwave, causing her to malfunction and crush his wiener like a hydraulic press
it’s like no one wants to fucking take their bloody hands and cup their lover’s face, making a streak of red on their cheek with their thumb before passionately kissing anymore
There’s something so inherently mystical about swimming to the bottom of a pool to retrieve something. Just gracefully swooping down with a purpose and puttering to the quiet bottom. I mean, yeah, I’m probably retreaving a lost toe ring or one of those soggy water ball things, but damn if I don’t feel like a mermaid princess searching for hidden treasure.
even if you’re not a supernatural fan, if you’ve been on tumblr long enough you are, like, culturally. like cultural christianity in america except it’s the cw’s supernatural. you may never have watched an episode or set foot inside the tag but your regular life shuts down on their holidays and all of your world news is delivered through that point of view. something to think about
tumblr developers cranking it into overdrive to make sure one of the few unique and usable social media sites remaining becomes a half-formed failed homunculus clone of tiktok like every other fucking website
I can never reblog that one post that’s like “what fictional food did you desperately want to eat as a child ” bc I had this dinosaur book as a kid and in the book there was this illustration of a T. Rex eviscerating a Triceratops and feasting on its remains and it looked like it was having such a good time with the triceratops carcass that I would have traded anything to be that T. Rex. And I can’t just add that to a random stranger’s post
I see how it is you can all post about cannibalism and blood drinking and it’s cool it’s normal it’s ENCOURAGED even but I say I wanted to indulge in the absolute carnage of felling a 26,000 lb horned beast with my hands and then feasting upon the spoils of my victory as a child and suddenly IM the weird one
Everyone says they want a weirdgirl who is hot and strange and off-putting and then she says she’s harboring a secret desire to be a Mesozoic superpredator from the late cretaceous and you all switch up REALLL fast
i can’t believe i still use tumblr in 2023 i feel like an old guy who stubbornly refuses to get a mobile cuz house phones work perfectly fine. and he’s right
going on the internet to stare at things. going to a antique mall to stare at things. going to the aquarium to stare at things. going to an art gallery to stare at things. picking up a book to stare at things. going to the cinema to stare at things. &other such cases
I found out what lesbian means today, Ella told me at recess. It’s unfair because girls are so much prettier than guys. It’s like comparing a flower to an old shoe. But I’m not a lesbian, almost 99% of my friends are guys.
Shakespeare could only aspire to this level of dramatic irony.
whenever i see another tiktok girlie talking about how she wishes to have been a fangirl in 2010s i feel like a seasoned veteran overhearing a foolish youngin boasting about wanting to go to war for glory and adventure. you naive little idiot. you know nothing. you understand nothing. you weren’t there in the trenches. i have seen things, terrible things. i cannot plug in my phone charger at night without being plagued by the visions of Him
this doesnt seem like a popular opinion on here but sometimes i like when characters die. sometimes its needed to raise the stakes and sometimes its the end best befitting of the character and sometimes its needed to move the narrative forward and sometimes its the only way a character would believably leave their story behind and sometimes it just spices things up a bit. sometimes its fun to watch characters die . sorry
